300: Rise of an Empire

Viewed in
2014

Formats
Movie theater.

Premise
A prequel to 300? A sequel? A supplementary?

Loved
Eva Green.

Liked
Stylish action.

Disliked
Confusing story-telling.

Hated
The ridiculous concept of female war wardrobe.

Thoughts
As far as brainless, expensive-looking action flicks go, it was pretty average.

The best part was Eva Green. Just a complete bad ass, and made for a very root-worthy villain. More than a pretty face, she grabbed the screen by the balls and sold every bombastic minute with zest.

As expected, the violence was gratuitously bloody. In fact, so much digital crimson flooded the frame, it was almost comical, harking back to 1980's gushers with cartoony usage of blood packs. Also expected were gratuitous slow-motion and "one-take" action sequences, and CGI abs. Unfortunately, most of this movie's style lacked the novelty feel from the first one.

I give it some creative credit for having most of the action take place on the high seas. If people were uppity about the buoyancy of dwarves in barrels from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, I'd be curious about their reaction to the scene of a horseback warrior galloping from ship-to-sea-to-ship.

In addition to the "been there, seen that" aspect, the flaws were numerous. I couldn't tell the shirtless Greeks apart, the subplots were boring, the pretentious speeches of nothingness weren't even laughably bad, and the prologue was confusing. In fact, the most confusing part was its ever-shifting perspective. Who was I supposed to root for? Green? The indistinguishable Greeks? The grieving Spartans?

Last two amusing points. I found it ironic that even though it had two "bad ass" women, it still failed the Bechdel Test. Also, I realize a lot of the movie was implausible, but the fact that Green had a wardrobe change every scene really made me shake my head. She's away from home, on a battlefield, and yet had enough time and trunk to store all these ridiculous outfits? Having said that, here spiny-back dress was awesome.

Despite Eva Green's presence and some interesting water-based warfare, 300: Rise of an Empire just felt long for a hundred-minute epic slash-em-up.